freelancerforhire

When Being a Mom Isn’t Enough by The CrayonWrangler

In Guest Blog Posts, Writing & Motherhood on August 19, 2010 at 12:01 am

I had big dreams for myself.  Then I had kids.

For four years I believed that my dreams could not exist alongside motherhood.  I settled myself down to changing diapers and answering questions like, “Can God make a rock so big He can’t move it?” I began to feel out of touch with the rest of the adult society, being able to only discuss meal options for toddlers and bathroom schedules for potty training. I felt brain cells dying an agonizing death each time I sat down with the children to watch some animated character sing a song about “not biting your friends.”

My dreams for myself were now sitting in the bottom of a diaper pail.  Until I began an online journal about my three girls as a way of documenting their lives. I assumed that as those brain cells were dying, I better get it all written down.

Day after day I dutifully recorded the events of that day and began to take pictures to compliment the written words. One glorious day something amazing happened. I had a comment from a reader that said how much she enjoyed reading about our adventures and how it made her feel not so alone. She commented on a post where I was almost at my wit’s end with one of my daughters who had made artwork out of a dirty diaper. I began the next day with a mission to not only journal about our daily life, but to do it in a way that others could relate.

I began to use a more descriptive voice and took the time to take better pictures. Much like a pea thrown at the dinner table, it hit me. I was living my dream. My experiences with my girls and all the years I was putting behind the camera and computer to journal, my creativity was exploding. There are many days when being a mom is just too much. Too much noise, too much mess and too much personal space invaded. At the same time, being a mom sometimes is just not enough. Not enough times to fulfill dreams and not enough time to be the person you were before kids.

For a long time I felt guilty that my dreams were still so important that I mourned them. I felt that as a mom, I needed to let go of the dream of being a writer and photographer and be content just being around my kids. I have begun to see that by finding a way to continue living my dream, I am a better mom. There is no rule saying that you have to quit being who you are and who you wanted to be just because you became a mom. By continuing to strive for your goals keeps you in touch with who you are and gives you a chance for growth. You can come watch me live my dream by visiting me at www.thecrayonwrangler.com where I still talk about our daily adventures and learn to laugh at them along with you.

You can also follow me here.

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  1. Here, here.
    Been there, thought that. It’s like being in the washing machine, going round and round and not knowing when you will ever get out and dry off.
    But if you only discover how to dance in the water, you will realize you’re not so trapped, after all.

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